this too shall pass

it was something that has really been bothering me since i found out about it january, finally i had it checked with my doctor last june. yeah i know that was too much of a procrastination just because i thought it was only a simple case of sorts, i expected less, but i was surprised with what the doctor told me. i mean, hey guys, this is not a super serious condition with no cure whatsoever, it's just that i didn't see this coming. for a girl who has been so diligent with check ups, this came like a hit on the head, a joke, but a bad one!

when the doctor told me about it, my jaw dropped! how on earth? i kept it to myself. i talked to no one about it, not even to my husband, it would only bother him. it took a while before it has gotten into my system, and when it did, i immediately browsed the net. thank God for the internet. i spent all my days and nights researching about it-- its symptoms, because maybe the doctor was just mistaken by her diagnosis, its cure, and how worried should i be noting im on my pregnancy now. search results meanwhile show that it is not as serious as someone would think. praise heavens! and medicine has significantly advanced that conditions such  as mine can now be prevented and cured. also, it is said that it has been common, especially evident with girls. it is also said that it would not complicate my pregnancy, except in really severe cases, which thankfully i'm not in. so there, i breathe.

august came and my husband is home. it was such a struggle every night how i'm gonna start telling him about my condition. it came finally. he put a blank face, i wonder what came running his thoughts after that moment when i told him everything about it. i, on the other hand, was sobbing in tears. that was a very difficult situation to be in.  he started asking questions and i clearly answered everything based on what i researched. after all of it, he was most reassuring telling me that this is something we should face together and that everything will be alright between us. he accompanied me as i went to see my doctor that day, he asked several questions to her again and he probably asked the "should we worry?" question three times and the doctor was gracious to answer everytime those questions were thrown, that we shouldn't. the doctor said medications to address my condition will only start soon as i give birth. see, i told you it's not really too much of an ordeal since the doctor herself affords to delay my medication. and yes, i patiently submit myself to this, and build a mindset that yes, everything will be fine.

for now, i am okay. as the doctor said, it is not something i should greatly worry about. just putting a front? well maybe i am, i have to be, especially that i am having this wonderful blessing of a baby on my way. but i would like to think it is more of a choice of what we allow to be conceived in our minds. blessings are overwhelming my life right now, this should take a back seat.

it may not be something to worry much, but at the back of my mind lies a hundred and one questions relating to this,and believe me those running through my head are really mind-boggling and i know in the end they will just be left unanswered, errr i really wouldn't wanna know. i guess there may be some things not worth knowing, to give you the peace of mind and to pacify the heightened whatevers inside of you.

i have never shared this with anyone but to my husband and through this blog, meaning this will just be between me and you. it may not be clear here what it is that im really going through, pardon me, i can only say much. really, im okay, il be. this too shall pass :)